Simply Vintage :D

being sick now is like the worst time off all man=.=
now is down to headache and sore throat):
impact high tea was rather fun and interesting(:

the next part of the post is not pleasant.
however it is my blog and i'm just going ahead anyway.
so reader's discretion is advised.

recently haven't been in a good mood.
it all happened last friday when i had this quarrel with my sis.
was rather childish actually but...
what happened was just that she didn't want to lend me her stuff.
cause i spoiled it the last time and yes i'm sorry.
and it ended with the usual next time don't borrow my stuff thing.
next day i wore her top and she kicked up a fuss.
so i just threw it back at her and left.
on sunday when i got back from church she asked why i wore her jeans.
again i just took it off and threw it back at her.
went to the toilet wanting to wash my legs but!
the moment i stepped in i slipped and fell.
i was in so much shock i could only sit there and call for help.
she didn't even apologize[she was the last to bathe] and refused to.
saying that i've caused this to her before but at least i apologized!
demanded an apology but she just refused and my mum said i was unreasonable.
after that i was just so pissed off and this whole quarrel got worse.
yes i ended up hitting my sis and telling her i hated her.
she subsequently she walked out of the house.
talked to alicia and fell asleep after that.
when i woke up my grandma asked me to call her and being still pissed i refused.
she came home shortly after that and everyone asked her to eat.
i just sat in my room and seemingly everyone ignored me.
only talked to my grandma and dad after that.
last night i was just doing the designs and my sis walked in demanding the bags and dvd.
suddenly i just got so pissed and said i was busy and ignored her.
walked out and heard her talking to her friend about me.
became so pissed i off the tv and we had another quarrel.
after that it just got so bad and yeah i hit her again.
she cried and seeing her cry it just aggravated my anger.
i hit her till this time her spects flew off and there's a mark on her face.
yes i shouldn't have done that and i really feel like shit now.
can't believe that i actually let my anger take control of me.
just became so jealous that everyone was on her side.
no one was doing anything to discipline her and she got away with everything.
since young it seems like its always my fault.
has she ever felt that she was ever at fault?
how can i after doing this be able to do God's work.
at church today i felt like another person.
the happy-go-luck side of me and i wonder if anyone noticed.
God i feel so unworthy of your love.
i seemed to have lost sight of the race.
kinda just really hate myself right now.